The worst marriage advice

 The worst marriage advice my husband and I were given years ago:

“Never ever go to bed mad! Find a resolution, then sleep”

It’s better to go to bed with an unresolved argument, then to stay up and fight when you are both tired. Get some sleep, cool down, then talk.

“Happy wife happy life!”

This is not true. You BOTH need to feel happy, loved, and respected.

“You shouldn’t argue! Conflict is a sign of an unhealthy marriage.”

Arguing and disagreeing is good, and healthy.
As long as it’s done in a productive/healthy way, arguments can actually be a sign of a healthy marriage.

“It should come easy, you shouldn’t have to constantly work on a relationship if it’s meant to be”

Marriage is WORK. It takes daily check ins with each other, apologies, realizing your own toxic behaviours, and working through the messy parts that life throws at you.

“You shouldn’t go through dry spells if you’re with the right person. You’ll always want it!”

Every long term couple can go through dry spells. Different 🌶️ drives, stress, having young children, and financial strain can cause couples to go through dry spells. It’s normal and okay. Just work through it, communicate, and you’ll get through it.

“Marriage is 50/50!!”

Marriage is a constant give and take. Sometimes all I can give that day is 30% and my husband will come in with the other 70%. We take turns bringing the extra % when the other can’t. We give each other compassion, always.

“If you’re ever arguing, just be intimate! Solves all fights!”

We don’t use intimacy as an excuse to not talk through and work on our problems. That’s like putting a band-Aid over something serious and not working on the actual injury. 

We strive everyday to be the best person we can for the other, but give each other grace when we can’t.

That’s what marriage is all about.

Bringing the extra % when your partner can’t, communicating both of your needs, working through the dry spells, and loving each other through the hard times.

Because after all, that’s how you get to the most beautiful part of a marriage.

Working through the ups and downs, but choosing each other anyways.

It’s one heck of a ride to get to the top, but the view is amazing.